The Curve of Life

"Destiny is a name often given in retrospect to choices that had dramatic consequences." - J.K. Rowling.

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In science, in management, in other areas of study and in life, we often come across several types of curves - the learning curve, the bell curve, elliptical curves, beauty curves and so on. While deliberating over the choices we make in life and their consequences, I realized that a life can be represented by a dynamic curve, which represents the state of our life in real-time. Our life is a curve, which we metaphorically draw with our hands and every decision that we take, determines the direction and slope of the figure.

At the time of our birth, when we're at the zero position on the X-axis, which represents the time axis, our Y-coordinates are determined by a number of factors - the family we're born into, the country and the society we're born in, our mental capacity, our health etc. Let's call this the beginning point of life. The Y-axis in the figure can be called a number of things. I'd call it our position in life. The higher we are on the Y-axis means the more we've accomplished in life and the happier we are. Some people begin their journey very low on the Y-axis: in poverty, in countries torn apart by war, in nations where women are treated as sub-humans, in broken families, with physical deformities and mental deficiencies. There are others who are fortunate enough to born in independent nations, with gifted minds and beautiful bodies, to loving and wealthy families, as the successors of thriving businesses and sons and daughters of celebrities and politicians. These people have an ingrained advantage over the former group and their journey begins higher up on the Y-axis. And then, there are most of us who are born somewhere between the two extremes. This point onwards, begins the curve of life.

Every decision that we make in life, including the seemingly inconsequential ones, have a bearing on our curve of life. The extent of the impact of each decision, of course, varies. There are certain decisions such as the choice of a profession and the choice of a life partner, which have greater impact on the curve of our life, as compared to the decision to buy a particular house or a specific vehicle.

There are also choices we make on a daily basis, which impact our lives in the long run, take the curve of our life a little higher or push it a tad lower. For example, consider a person who goes for a jog/walk every day, five times a week, throughout the year. Each morning, she makes a conscious decision to forego a part of her sleep, so that she remains healthy or becomes healthier. Or, everyevening, she decides to return home early to fit in her work-out regime with the rest of her activities before the day comes to an end. Compare her with somebody who works in a similar profession, leads a comparable lifestyle, is overweight and frequently complains about finding no time for joining a gym. The latter individual fails to realize that if he is unhealthy, it is by choice, not by chance or circumstances. And if he wishes to change things, it is in his power and control to change them and direct the curve of his life upwards.

Consider another case and although, this is a subjective one, it still holds true. When people come out of broken relationships, they usually take time to move on, which is understandable. The success or failure of a relationship is not completely in our hands, since there is another person invovled. However, what happens after a break-up is totally in our hands. There are people who remain miserable for prolonged periods of time, reminiscing the good times in the relationship and yearning to be with the one they love. The unhappiness causes the curve of their life to dip sharply. If and when they do get over the past relationship, the curve has fallen considerably and they begin the uphill task of rebuilding their lives. Needless to say, precious time of their lives is wasted destroying and rebuilding what they already had. Then there are others who realize that eventually, one does move on from a failed relationship. There's a choice to be made: one can be miserable for weeks and months, wasting opportunities for developing new relationships and furthering one's career, OR one can realize the significance of time and make a conscious decision to move on, after spending a little time in mourning. In both cases, we make a choice - to move on or remain miserable, causing the curve of our life to dip a little and rise again, or fall sharply.

People who use destiny to justify their shortcomings, failures and inactions ("Alas! I'm not destined to be a class topper", "If it's in my destiny to become a doctor, I would become one, otherwise I wouldn't", "My birth-chart says I'll be highly successful at public speaking, I don't need to rehearse my speech" etc.), delude themselves. They wish to believe in a force beyond them which directs their actions, achievements and failures, in order to have somebody to blame when things don't work out as planned. The current state of our life, our happiness and sorrows are all self-inflicted. The curve of our life is at the position we've steered it to, through our decisions and actions of the past. Each one of us has the power to become what we want to be. What we call destiny today is a decision we made yesterday. And the ones that we make today, would shape our lives tomorrow.

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